Do thy weekend grocery shopping on a Saturday For when thou protests that thine mead jugs are empty, and goest to refill them at one of the train station supermarkets that are open on a Sunday, may thou be condemned to an eternity of waiting in line with every other Berliner who had that brilliant idea.
Maketh an effort to learn German You tried. Surviveth at least one Berlin Winter And lo, the balmy days of Summer were past, and thy compatriots began disappearing to the fairer isles of Greece, Ibiza, or Mallorca.
Resist the urge. Thou must show thyself a true-blue resident of the Hauptstadt by staying on through its darkest hours literally.
Useth thine inside voice Especially on the U-Bahn. We're looking at you, American expats. Go West! Leave thy Prenzlauer Bergs and thy Friedrichshains, thy Mittes and they Kreuzbergs, and go forth to explore the Western side of town sometimes. It's cool now, swear! Get into Fussball, if only once every four years Sure, Munich might hog all the action between World Cups, but every four years the whole of Germany gets to root for a quality team. When thou hast hunger, he giveth thee paprika-covered potato chips.
Be nice to them. Leaveth thy bottles out as a sacrifice to the gods If you really want some, get it here. Waiteth for thy little traffic man to turn green before crossing the street Lest thou arriveth ever late at thy destination. Moveth here expecting to get a palace for a penny Sure rents are cheap, and you can find quite a few apartments on the market for very little money.
