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Looks like you're in the UK. Did you know The Strategist is too? This week, a year old lawyer who outsources his orgasm: straight, married, Murray Hill. My alarm goes off. My wife has been up with our daughter since 5 a. I rub one out in the shower. Lisa just so happens to be getting divorced. I think about fucking every above-average woman I see on the subway. I assume this is what it means to be married. I commend myself for never acting on my fantasies. My boss at the law firm.
I come home to a sleeping baby and my wife half-dead on the couch. Our daughter is 6 months old and we have only made love ONCE since she was born. Wife and I watch a few episodes of Catastrophe. Daily morning jerk off. Does my wife know? She must. I always let out the slightest of grunts at the end. So efficient, the morning jerk. Clean, tidy, lubricated. I am still picturing Lisa. Doggy style. Groping her tits, which I know are fake, because my wife told me the whole story. Noon Wife sends me a selfie of them at some song-singing class.
Wife is pretty. We have to get back on track sexually. I come home. Baby asleep. Starting next month. Lights out. I have a brilliant idea. A happy ending. I went once in the past and wonder if that location is still around. We have 24 hours to plot. I make my buddy research where to go online, since he does not work for a stuffy law firm.
Baby is asleep, wife is dead on the couch, and I just want to crash and wake up tomorrow!!! All you have to know about today is that my Buddy bails and my heart is broken. Buddy promises we can go tomorrow. Hope lives! None of this is a lie. Noon No idea what happens at work today. I skip out early, as does my buddy. He wants to meet for dinner first in Koreatown. I think this is bullshit. So he eats something and I nurse a beer. I worry the place will have rats running around and suddenly want to go home to my wife and our Ikea furniture.
We are each escorted to our massage pods by women of Asian descent. My girl says her name is Nancy. The massage is actually phenomenal. And then she turns me over. I am too afraid to open my eyes, but her technique is great and within a minute seriously I come.