So this week we're discussing good sex and why it matters. Our mantra? Owning your sexual pleasure is power. When attempting to sell sex online, one must walk a tightrope between being suggestive and not being so explicit as to signal blatant illegal activity.
I grabbed the money and quickly shoved it into my purse, my heartbeat racing. Afterward—relieved, shocked, and full of anticipation—I made a beeline to Chinatown to pick up a few wigs and later to Target for some cheap makeup and lingerie. Lovely Brown, an escort for hire, was officially born. Independence has always been important to me.
When I moved away from my family at 18, it was like breathing fresh air for the first time. After years of reflection, I now understand my childhood and adolescence to be toxic and dysfunctional, but at the time I just knew I wanted to get out.
When I fell behind on my rent in my second year of college, going back home, or even asking for help, was not an option. I was living in the San Francisco Bay Area—a sex-positive place with a history steeped in sexual taboo. It was an eye-opening experience. Several of my classmates at the college I was attending were escorts or peep show dancers, and they made their line of work sound empowering and financially lucrative. I was working part-time at an after-school program, but between being a college student without many marketable skills and the great economic downturn of , it felt as though ends would just never meet.
When I got behind on my rent and bills by nearly a month, I decided to see whether I could bridge the gap, just this once, with sex work. There was talking, kissing, the obligatory blow job. Any emotional intimacy was manufactured, a service rendered. Every part of my body was up for commodification. I did a lot of things as an escort that were firsts for me. One guy liked to dress up like a baby while getting pegged from behind. As in most underworlds, anything goes. I was always taken aback by the sheer volume of men trolling for sex on the internet—out of the dozen or so men I serviced each month, there was no typical customer, unless white men over the age of 21 with a pulse counts as a type.
